Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Rejection vs. Validation

Since most of my time since last Thursday has been taken up by holding my ADORABLE BRAND NEW RED-HEADED NEPHEW... I haven't gotten a lot done.  Editing.  I've done editing, though not on Aeris.  I've got two people left to hear from (you know who you are!) before I start moving in on that.
Ruminating without editing is great though because it lets you really work out in your mind what you want to do and think over and over and over again about the weak points in your story.  You know they're there, but you just allow them to simmer under the surface until you can't stand it anymore, at which point you've heard back from everyone and you know exactly what to do.
Oddly enough, I'm most nervous about my brother's feedback.  Just because he's never done this so early in the process before and is always so PAINFULLY honest.  And by painful, I mean knife in the gut.  It's good, though.  He gives GREAT feedback, especially on my male characters.

So there's where I'm at for ROW.  Now onto the next bit.

It's great when people love your work, isn't it?  Nothing is more validating than getting nice reviews or fan mail. For me, it's like, "Great, so my writing isn't a total time-suck."

I think I've talked about validation and rejection so many times before that I have nothing new to say on the topic.  Only that I've recently been put in a situation in my "real" life, not my writer life, where I'm in the unenviable position of having to reject an offer that I've been made.  

I'm going to generalize it here, but a friend of mine recently offered me some money to do some work for her, freelance. While I would greatly love the opportunity, I think there are some drawbacks, personally, that cause me to hesitate to accept.  In fact, I'm almost certain I'm going to refuse.  

What to do, what to do.  It's so much easier, sometimes, to read books.  I get to go on goodreads and rant about style, character, plot, etc.  It's fun to read what other people have said about them.  And it's so much easier to say something honest, but probably not pleasant in the forum of the internet, where you don't have to do it face to face. 

All day, I've been thinking, how do I break the news without sounding like a complete asshat?  How do I validate her work without having to accept it as my own burden?  When did life get so complicated?

While I continue to mull this over, I place you in the talented hands of my fellow bloggers, who have many wise words of their own to impart.

That is all from me this week, fellow readers.

Happy Reading!


Anonymous said...

I don't blame you for wanting to refuse the job. Mixing work with friends is like mixing money and friends. It always ends badly.

Nadja Notariani said...

Thanks (as always) for the fun links. I enjoyed.

I can understand your misgivings to mix work with a friend. I guess it depends on the friendship. Some friends can remain so or even become better because of honesty - they accept it, even if unpleasant, and move on. Others fall apart. If you say no, I'd just explain that your reason for doing so isn't because of your faith, or lack thereof, in said friend's work, but because you value the friendship more than business. That should satisfy any doubts or worries your friend will have. Good luck.

Fantasy Floozie- Kenya Wright said...


Thanks for the mention1 Yes, my program is unconventional, but many say it works! lol!

Kate said...

@Ryan: Yeah, I was kinda feeling like that. It's just so hard to say NO, though. I don't want to make anyone feel bad. It must be done.

@Nadja: I knew you like them! I've mixed work and friends before, and thankfully was able to avoid disaster, but I'm leery. Thanks for the advice.

@Kenya: You're welcome! I'm quite the fan of your advice. hahaha